APPENDIX I: DECLARATION
Outline 3 The sub-core category
The experts perceived, a general tendency of Indian masses to consider the way of living natural and obvious, thus “considering natural” is the sub-core-category with values on which the inherent sense of right and wrong are based. The socialisation process makes people accept
“way of living” as a normal and natural pattern of behaviour as illustrated by Kalra and Bhurga (2013). They state, ‘culture determines definitions and descriptions of normality and psychopathology’ (Para 5). The traits of culture are an important part of one’s socialization, which have made “way of living” the naturalized pattern of behaviour.
74 EIANMO 20
75 BNICHMO 61
All NGO experts analysed the subjugating way of living which is institutionalised due to the socialisation process, where women learn to accept violence as natural. While talking about the cause of gender-based violence, various experts said that women accept subjugating values as natural and an inevitable part of life. “Way of living” is a framework and the justification that it is natural. It is the reason for its acceptance, which causes incidents of violence to be considered natural. Due to this assumption, they blame themselves for their suffering. The assumptions transferred from generation to generation are accepted irrefutably by women and women’s subjugation is considered normal and natural not only by men but also by women. Kirti, as a survivor of domestic violence and who has worked as a family counsellor, provided evidence from her personal life stories to illustrate how violence is natural for Indian women: “be she a woman, a counsellor, a feminist, a case worker, whatever she is, she is not detached from being a woman. It is there in a woman since childhood. All women experience violence, which are experiences of being a woman, which are experiences of subjugation” ती
बाईएक counsellor असो, एक feminist असो, case worker असो, काहीहीअसो. ितचाबाईपनितलासुटत नाही.तेबाईमध्येलहानपणापासूनअसत. प्रत्येकबाईअशीिहंसाअनुभवकरते, हैअनुभवबाईपणाचेआहे, है
अनुभव आहेत ते कमीपणा चे आहेत, ते अनुभव हलकेपणा चे आहेत. (Kirti. 2; 8-10. Original expert interview in Marathi).
Kirti’s analysis is an outcome of her experience with domestic violence, she analysed how a woman enters into interactions with certain assumptions and experience of violence is natural for every woman. On the other hand, Swanand, who shared his journey from being a man to working on women-centric male-focused gender equality, shared how men make certain assumptions regarding masculinity and how a man must treat women in order to prove his masculinity. For men, practising gender equality means going against principle of ‘real man’ and going against learned principles of life. Furthermore, Milan shared in the interview,
in the process of making men conscious about masculinity and patriarchy, they taught a group of men to exchange gender roles. He shared the experience of the group: “When I asked them what their (men’s) experience while doing household chores was, they said that people laughed at them. Other people say that, since they are doing women’s job, they are eunuchs, so people bully them and those who practice gender equality”. मीजेव्हात्यांनािवचारलिकतुमचा (पुरुष) अनुभव कसा होता जेव्हा ते घरकाम करायचे?. ते म्हणाले िक लोक हसतात आमचा वर. दुसरेलोक म्हणतात िकते
बायकाचीकाम करतातम्हणजेतेिहजडेआहेत. लोकजी gender- equality चीकृतीकरतातलोक त्यांची
मजाकरतात. (Milan, 12; 5-8. Original expert interview in Marathi)
He explained how and why men confirmed to the – “way of living”. Milan’s argument is further illustrated by Anchala’s experience of domestic violence by her feminist husband manifesting that even experts are not free of pressure laid down by the society to confirm these norms.
The researcher agrees with experts’ analysis. Being a girl, confirming to gender division of labour is only acceptable from her. This shows how the community unconsciously internalized patriarchal values. The argument is further illustrated in an article, “Indian women have internalised inferiority to such an extent that some even feel that they deserve to be beaten when they have done something wrong”. (Visaria 2000, P 1742). This depicts how internalized social norms are and violence is considered normal. During BNI, phrases used by the respondents such as ‘I have to’76, ‘we have no choice’77 or ‘that is how I am supposed to behave’78 are interpreted as the internalisation of subjugation as natural, normal and inevitable by women.
Whether an internalized norm of patriarchy from men’s side or accepting subjugation
76 BNIYUMO 32
77 BNIPOMO 35
78 BNICHMO 30
from women’s side, they both consider it an inevitable part of their social existence. Various other assumptions are discussed as a property of the sub-core-category, which are considered normal by society and which have unconsciously become part of the interaction in the community. The first property among four properties is “treating available”, which suggests that women of all castes, classes and religions are considered a commodity or object.
2.3.1 Treating Available
The first property of the sub core category signifies treating women as a commodity, objects available only for sexual gratification. An expert working for Nomadic tribal communities, Vinita, described how a lack of social security for lower castes and classes make nomadic tribal women vulnerable. Vinita stated: “Nomadic tribal women migrate from one place to another regularly, so they have no social security. At different places, the upper caste men of the new place they move to, see these women as a sexual object, as a commodity; and easily available” याआिदवासीमिहला एकास्थळपासूनदुसर्यास्थळलास्थलांतरकरतात. म्हणूनत्यांना
सामािजकसुरक्षानसते. यास्थलांतिरतिठकाणीउच्चवगीर्यजातीचेपुरुषत्यांनाफक्तएकलैंिगकवस्तू, एक वस्तू आिण एक सहजपणे उपलब्ध असणारी वस्तू म्हणून बघतात. (Vinita, 6;22-27. Originally expert interview in Marathi).
Vinita’s quotation explained how, in Indian social settings, triple exploitation a marginalised caste/class woman faces. The nomadic tribal people belong to the economic-socially deprived groups. Conventionally, Indian culture permits sexual alliances with the marginalised section’s women, but the culture does not promote matrimonial alliances between upper caste men and lower caste women, “(…) is a pointer as to how the ideal of respectable,
‘good’ womanhood is built around upper-caste women and lower caste, Dalit, women instantly become susceptible, ‘sexually available’ women” (Christy 2017, P 94). The argument is further reiterated by various experts working on marginalised sections such as Swanjali and Aradhana,
who analysed the situation with historical-cultural references of caste structure as mentioned in the introduction section of the current thesis.
Due to social settings, lower caste/class women are considered available, but when asked whether upper caste/class women are free from objectification, the expert answered upper caste women are also treated as inferior and only for household chores. Aradhana shared:
Indian men are socialised with values such as they are head of the family and supreme in the home. He is a man, and she is a woman and as a woman she is good for nothing, she is dumb, he does not trust her abilities, educational degrees. For a man, a woman is only good to work at home and she is just a commodity and available to use79. भारतीयपुरुष नािकत्येक मूल्ये
िशकवलीआिण रुजवलीजातातजसे; तेत्यांचाकुटुंबाचेप्रमुखआहेत, तेश्रेष्ठआहेतत्यांचाकुटुंबा मध्ये. ते
पुरुष आहेत आिण त्या िस्त्रया आहेत. िस्त्रया काही कामाचा नाही. त्या बावळट असतात, ते त्यांचा क्षमता, शैक्षिणकपदवीवरत्यांचािवश्वासनसतो. पुरुषसाठी, िस्त्रयाफक्तघरकामासाठीयोग्यअसतात. तीफक्त एकवस्तूआहे, जीउपलबधआहे.
Even Milan, a male expert supports Aradhana’s view, Indian society attributes high values to a male who is the breadwinner for his family, who is independent and does not seek advice from a woman. Society respects such men.
Upper caste/class women have taken submissive behaviour for granted. As mentioned by Christy (2017) upper caste women are associated with notions of ‘good’, but the concept of
‘good’ women in Indian society depicts the objectification of women. A good woman is one who is expected to stay within four walls, submissive and tolerant in her marriage, and the one who remains silent towards violence (Sharma 2015).
Muslim women too are treated as available due to the religious tradition of polygamy–
where a husband is allowed to marry more than one woman. Women in the Muslim community are treated as easily available. Thus, regardless of caste, class or religion, society treats woman as available and women submit to it.
79 Aradhana, P 24, 7-19. Original interview in Marathi
The inferior status given to a woman is also seen from the difference in gender socialization in India, where male children of the family are given more resources and opportunities than female children of the family (Ram et al. 2014) as female offspring is supposed to settle in someone else’s family when she gets married. Thus, Indian society considers girls and women a burden. The next property discusses the assumption of females as a burden on the family, which are considered natural by society.
2.3.2 Counting Burden
The second property for the sub core-category “counting burden” signifies a female child as a burden on her family due to various economic and cultural reasons. While discussing at length the duties of “good” women with NGO experts, most of the respondents reiterated a fact that in Indian society a “good” woman is one who bears a male heir to the family. A male heir is culturally important, and a girl child is a burden on a family due to the tradition of dowry.
When the researcher compared this analysis with experts working for Muslim and tribal community, the researcher found that this is not the case with these communities. Except Muslim and tribal community rest all communities a female child is not welcome. Anil, a family counsellor and an activist working for gender equality attributes that female are counted as burden due to the demands for dowry and the issue is seen among all castes and religions in India, which is further supported by an article by Ahlawat (2014), “The dowry system is thought to put great financial burden on the bride’s family. It has been cited as one of the reasons for families and women in India resorting to sex selection in favour of sons” (P 31).
Due to the dowry tradition and the tradition’s relation with violence on Indian women, parents consider a female child to be a burden and money spent on dowry creates pressure on women to save their marriage. Milan, working on gender-sensitive education with children, elaborated the point that due to dowry, parents spend large amounts of money on marriage.
And because of this, girls feel a burden to save their marriage and they tolerate violence within
the marriage80. Milan explained consequences of dowry is due to the fact that male’s family finds the dowry tradition as beneficial and how a girl’s family considers dowry as a gateway for a functional and successful marriage.
On the one hand experts discussed dowry as reason of female counting as burden whereas Nima, a telephone counsellor, analysed women as a burden due to property sharing.
According to her, women are a burden on parents as after marriage, a girl’s property is transferred to her husband’s home. She explained the relationship between sex-selective abortions and property sharing81, which is illustrated by previous literature property inheritance as another reason for which female offspring are considered a burden and a male heir is always welcome in the Indian society due to the reason that property stays within the family (Dewan and Khan 2009). Along with this, the researcher stated that there is also a cultural belief that a male heir is a gateway to other-worldly spiritual attainment. This is not widely discussed by experts; experts mainly focus on economic aspects of the skewed sex ratio.
In light of this, the researcher analysed that the dowry system makes a female child a burden on her family. But on the contrary, among nomadic tribe, people the reverse dowry system welcomes a female child. At the time of marriage, a man pays dowry money to the bride’s family. A marginalised section’s expert established a relationship between female subjugation with an economic aspect such as Vinita:
In nomadic tribe girl children are welcome. They don’t want male children in nomadic tribes as they have a system of bride price. The bride price in the community is given by males to a female’s parents. So, the community welcomes females. Boys are outnumbered or have equal sex ratios82. याआिदवासी समुदायमध्येबािलकाचकायम स्वागतकेलंजात. त्यांनापुरुषमुलंनको
असतातकारणत्याचामध्येवधूिकंमतअसते. यासमुदायमध्येवधू िकंमतमुलीचाआईवडीलनापुरुषकडून
िदलाजातो. म्हणूनयासमुदायमध्येमुलीचाजन्महाआनंददायकअसतो. यासमुदायामध्येपुरुषकमीआहेत
िस्त्रयापेक्षािकंवािलंगप्रमाणसमानआहे.
80 EIMIMO 57
81 EINIMO 60
82 Vinita, P.18, 5-7
But Vinita further added that the bride price system does not empower women due to the fact that, at the time of separation women have to give back the bride price and the burden of paying money back is on the nomadic tribal women83. Like most of the patriarchal society, tribal men control economic resources hence, due to lack of economic resources nomadic tribal women also tolerates violence.
The Bride price system tradition prevails among various African and Asian countries.
Women in the system suffers due to their lower bargaining power and abuses within the marriage (Ashraf et al. 2015; Anderson 2007). Along the same line, Vinita stated that, due to a lack of economic resources, tribal women continue their relationship and are often abused in the relationship and this makes them more vulnerable. Though, among three Muslim experts, only one expert confirmed that a tradition of dowry is present among Muslims in India.
Previous literature too confirmed that the dowry system also prevails in the Indian Muslim community, especially in Maharashtra (Waheed 2009; Jaggi 2001). Though dowry tradition is present among Muslim community, all three experts stated that women are not seen as the burden among Muslim community. The reason for this is Islam has condemned sex-selective abortion and they treat it as a sinful act84. According to them, among Muslims sex-selective abortions are absent or lower than among Hindus. While studying the influence of religion on fertility, Abhijit Visaria (2015) too argued that among the Indian Muslim community, female offspring is tolerated more than in the Hindu community, which indicates that the status of Muslim women is not as low as in the Hindu community (P 31).
The next property of the sub-core category is “treating dirty” which is one more facet of the female offspring being seen as a burden, the excess importance given to women’s virginity, which is a gateway of family honour and women are seen as a storehouse of family
83 EIVIMO 70
84 EISAMO 66, EIIMMO 68
honour. As a result, women are raised in a restrictive manner. “Treating dirty”, the next sub-core category, discusses this silence and importance given to women’s sexuality in the country.
2.3.3 Treating Dirty
The next property emerged from the data for the sub-core category “considering natural” is “treating dirty”. All 28 NGO respondents discussed the cultural silence related to sexuality in Indian society and excessive importance given to sexual purity. Among all castes/classes, religions, the cultural silence on sexuality prevails. An expert working against child sexual abuse, Bhumati, shared her experience regarding cultural silence on sexual purity and viewed it as the biggest obstacle for reporting child sexual abuse. Parents teach their daughter/ s that their sexual organs are dirty, one is not supposed to touch them. In turn, girls think that talking about sexual abuse makes them “dirty”85. Yukti, who is a survivor of child sexual abuse said in her interview that she used to think bad about sexuality during her childhood, she used to perceive touching vagina as dirty or inappropriate. Hence, she chose to stay silent about the sexual abuse she faced during her childhood. Due to cultural teaching about sexuality, she felt embarrassed to talk about sexual violence to her parents thus rendering her unable to share her pain86. Thus, cultural assumptions of the sexual organs as “dirty” or
“inappropriate” makes the subject a taboo and children find it difficult to communicate with parents (Singh et al. 2014). In her written interview, Chitra stated:
I remember one incident where my mother and I travelled in a public transport and I was sitting beside a man and his thigh was touching mine and my mother shouted at me to behave and sit properly. I felt that I was very dirty, as if I wanted to touch that man. At that time, I realized that I should not let any men touch me87.मलाएकप्रसंगआठवतोयिजथेमी आिण माजीआईएकासावर्जिनकवाहनानेप्रवासकरतहोतो. मीएकापुरुषाचाशेजारीबसलेहोतेआिणत्याचेमांडी
माज्या मांडी ला लागत होती आिण माजी आई ते बघून माज्या वर ओरडली आिण नीट िशस्थत बसायला
सांिगतलं, मला खूपघाणवाटलं, असावाटलंिकमलाचत्या माणसालाहाथलावायचाहोता. मगत्यािदवशी
मलाकळलंिकमीकोणालाहाथलावूनध्येयाचानाही.
85 EIBHMO 42
86 EIBHMO 42; BNIYUMO 32
87 Chitra, Written interview, P 2
The experience shared by Chitra also impacted her decision to tolerate violence at husband’s place. Her husband wanted to divorce her but due to the stigma of divorcee, changing sexual partner Chitra was fighting against divorce. When asked why she is against divorce despite of the violence experienced at her husband’s house she discussed it with much awkwardness and spoke about remarriage and the change of sexual partners and her idea of tolerating violence as a sign of a being “good” woman. Thus, past experiences impact her present decision of tolerating violence.
A right-wing expert, Madhumati, stated in her interview that the most girls drop-out from schools and colleges due to eve teasing. Girls are not comfortable talking about their eve-teasing experience at home, they are afraid of sexual assault and prefer to stay home or remain silent (Chug 2011, P 24). The reason behind the silence is low-self-esteem internalised by Indian women and they assume that parents may blame them or stop them from getting an education. Another expert working against child sexual abuse, Kirti, discussed her point on how Indian culture does not take eve teasing, sexual comment or sexual harassment as a serious form of violence. Kirti stated:
Regarding sexual violence, culture has not taught women to take sexual violence seriously. The parents teach them to ignore eve teasing. If someone misbehaves with a girl, that girl must tolerate it, because she is a woman and has been socialized to tolerate everything and never complain. Basically, women do not accept these as acts of sexual violence. The culture teaches women that men will be men, they will behave in this way88. sexual violence बद्दल बोलायचं झाल तर, culture िन बायका ना sexual violence ना गांभीयार् िन घ्याला िशकवलं नाही. पालकांनीत्यांनारस्त्यावरतीहोणारजो violence त्यालासहनकरायलािकंवादुलर्क्षकरयलािशकवलंआहे. जरकोणीगैरवतर्न केलंमुलीबरोबरतरत्यांनासहनकरायलािशकवलंजातकारणतीबाईआहेआिणितला
तसंचमोठकेललंअस्तिकसगळंसहनकराआिणकधीतक्रारकरूनका. आिणकसआहेबायकानाअश्या
गोष्टी sexual violence वाटतच नाही. आपलीसंस्कृतीत्यांना असािशकवतेिक पुरुष पुरुषचारहातील, ते
असेचवागतील
88 Kirti, 6, 8-12
Kirti further said that in the Indian ‘way of living’ certain forms of sexual abuse are acceptable and not treated as serious such as touching women in public or passing filthy comments are considered as natural and normal in Indian social settings. Even when the researcher encountered sexual harassment, she first hesitated to deal with it considering it as not a serious crime.
Till now experts discussed women’s psyche but when men were asked about their views on sexuality, Swanand, a male expert who conducts sexual education workshops, analysed how men are socialised to treat women as a commodity. With this cultural assumption they enter into physical intimation with a sexual counterpart: “when it comes to sexual activity, they do not talk about it openly. One question they (men) asked me during a workshop is how to satisfy a woman, how to find out if a woman is satisfied. Men raising questions about consent and orgasm are very rare” (Swanand, 32; 21-28. Original expert interview in Marathi/English). The above question raised during the sexual education session reveals cultural silence regarding sexuality in Indian society. Talking about a sexual act, an Indian male does not know how to handle their sexual counterpart, or they are often abusive. Swanand further stated that, due to this cultural silence, an Indian male is unaware about how to handle their sexual partner, he stated: “for Indian men, sexual activity is a pleasure activity. They don’t even consider whether the sexual activity for a woman is a pleasure activity or not, men are so much obsessed with pleasure for their own self, they don’t even bother about reproduction or the pleasure of women” कारणभारतीयपुरुषसाठी sexual activity िहफक्तएक pleasure activity ठरते. त्यांनाजाणीव चानाही िक िह sexual activity बायका साठी pleasure activity असते िक नाही याची. ते स्वतःचा आनंद बद्दल इतके जास्त obssessd असतात िक ते िवचार पण करत नाही reproduction अथवा pleasure चा. (Swanand, 32;29-38. Original expert interview in Marathi/ English).
The assumptions that they are sexually available and just an object are internalised among men. These assumptions consequentially lead men to treat their sexual counterpart as a mute-passive server in a sexual act.
Sexual purity is also a part of the nomadic way of living. An expert working for nomadic
Sexual purity is also a part of the nomadic way of living. An expert working for nomadic