Members of different generations interacting individually (ab, ac, bc)

Friendships form naturally. In fact, some would argue that the more spontaneity a relationship has, the more satisfaction it will bring. In this model, individuals who possess different historic backgrounds bond voluntarily for the purpose or entertainment.

Friendships between younger and older generations do not have to be compensational for ancestral interaction, although they may greatly relieve the stress caused by whatever poor family relationships may exist.

The greatest beauty of individual intergenerational relationships, however, is found in mentoring. Empirical studies, primarily in a secular context, have defined mentoring differently. Rhodes, Ebert, and Fischer, for example, defined mentors as those

non-parental adults identified as providing support and referral to resources. For Levinson, Darrow, Klein, Levinson, and McKee, however, mentors are those whose goal is to "support and facilitate the realization of the Dream" by serving as transitional figures for another person.²¹⁰ In work with adult leaders from a Christian context, Clinton and Clinton, define mentoring as "... a relational experience by which one person empowers another by transferring God-given resources" .²¹¹ Chris Adsit, author of Personal Disciplemaking, sees mentoring as “a subset of disciplemaking.”²¹² It is to describe the process of developing a man or a woman to their maximum potential through a commitment of time and emotional energy to a relationship with an understudy. This goes beyond mere interest and is a commitment that, more often than not, is intense. A mentor is not necessarily a person who can do the work (in the work relationship) better than his followers. Instead, he can get his followers to do the work better than he can.

Fred Smith, president of Fred Smith & Associates calls mentoring “instruction” and

“coaching”:

“Instruction is what Plato referred to as transferring information from one mind to another. Much of the technology information can be transferred by instructors.

Instruction deals with how to do something useful – something for which one has a talent and something one can swap in the market for financial return and recognition as a craftsman. Coaching, on the other hand, is the process of developing unique qualities in the art of learning. For example, such things as thinking, feeling and dedication to excellence can not be given by instruction – they can only developed by coaching/mentoring (Smith 94).”²¹³

From the author’s experience, more often than not, the more mature party becomes interested in the mentoring relationship first. Having a vision for the purpose and steps of this relationship will allow to quickly recognize the right protégé into whose life to invest oneself. Mentor of mentors, Ted Engstrom, lists four principles to follow in

209Rhodes, J. E., Ebert, L., & Fischer, K.. Natural mentors: An overlooked resource in the social networks of young African-American mothers. American Journal of Community Psychology, 20, 1992. Pp. 445-461.

210Levinson, D. J., Darrow, C. N., Klein, E. B., Levinson, M. H., & McKee, B. Seasons of a Man's Life.

New York, NY: Ballantine.1978. P. 98.

211Clinton, J. R., & Clinton, R. W. The mentor handbook: Detailed guidelines and helps for Christian mentors and mentorees. Altadena, CA: Barnabas Publishers. 1991. P.1.

212 Adsit, Christopher. Personal Disciplemaking. A Step-By-Step Guide for Leading a New Christian From New Birth to Maturity. Integrated Resources. 1996. P180.

213 Smith, Fred Sr. Leading With Integrity : Competence With Christian Character. David L. Goetz Ed.

Bethany House Publishers. 1999. P.94.

order to be effective in the role of a mentor. First only a mentoree whose philosophy of life the mentor shares should be selected. The greatest mentors are those who are also role models. Secondly, a mentoree should be chosen whose potential the mentor genuinely believes in. The secret of mentoring in any field is to help a person get to where he or she is willing to go. Third, the mentoree’s progress should be constanly evaluated. An honest mentor will be objective. If necessary, he or she will encourage the person to stay on course, to seek another direction, or even enter into a relationship with another mentor. Finally, there is a need to be committed, serious and available to mentorees.²¹⁴

While ideal mentoring is provided for within the home, the church also firmly stands as an excellent environment for such discipleship to take place. Countless opportunities for forming close relationships and service allow a person to become familiar with the needs firsthand and thus find the one or several into whose life to invest oneself.

In conclusion of the chapter, hope for renewing an intergenerational vision and nurturing cross-age learning is not beyond the reach of congregations that desire it. They are, by nature and mandate, intergenerational. Since the church community is, in fact, one of the only societal institutions left that contains four or more generations, they must only discover the ways in which they can become more intentionally intergenerational.

The outcome of an activity performed together with a member(s) of a different generation is always greater than done alone or with a peer when wholistically measuring the entire development of a human being. That view is supported by the historic Judeo-Christian practice as well as contemporary theological school of process theology.

Examination of Fowler’s faith development theory in the educational endeavors of faith communities indicates that there are significant opportunities for intergenerational interactions to enhance effective movement through the ages.

Four approaches to congregational ministry are suggested that compliment each other by meeting different developmental needs.

214 Engstrom, Theodore Wilhelm. The Fine Art of Mentoring: Passing on to Others What God Has Given to You. Newburgh, IN: Trinity Press, 1989. P.24.

The difficulty of intergenerational learning lies in assuring that both older and younger age groups derive mutual benefits from their participation That is achieved through the stimulation of all participants, but with appropriate content. The entire fourth chapter is dedicated to that purpose. Prior to that, however, an introduction to generational tensions is needed with the purpose of learning to avoid it.