Marriage preparation in Germany

a. Response to canon 1064.

In September 2000 the German bishops conference responding to demands of canon 1064 for the implementation of canon 1063 for pastoral preparation of couples for marriage, published a handbook on pre-marriage preparation and the celebration of marriage under the title “On the way to the Sacrament of marriage - reflections on the marriage pastoral in transformation”⁶⁹¹ prepared by the commission for marriage and family. However, the original response of the conference to the demands of new ways in pastoral care for marriage preparation goes back to the general synod for the dioceses in the Federal Republic of Germany between 1971 and 1975. On the chapter dealing with “Christian marriage and the family” (Christlich gelebte Ehe und Familie), the synod deals with pastoral care for marriage preparation. It describes the Christian understanding of marriage and the importance that should be attached to the preparation before the celebration of it. The Synod emphasised that to ensure its effectiveness family, parents, schools, pastors and the faithful as a whole are to initiate responsible programmes and instructions to help young people and those preparing for marriage to understand the values and consequences of Christian marriage⁶⁹²

689 Cf. Provost, marriage preparation, pp.174-175.

.

690 Cf. Gavin, Pastoral Care in Marriage,132.

691 „Auf dem Weg zum Sakrament der Ehe: Überlegungen zur Trauungspastoral im Wandel“ ( The english translation is mine).

692 Gemeinsame Synode der Bistümer in der Bundesrepublik Deutschland (1971-1975), Verlag Herder, Freiburg in Breisgau, 1976, 411-457. According to no. 3.1.2.1.1: „Eine zeitgerechte Ehe- und Familienpastoral muss Brautleutetage, Brautleutewochenenden, Brautleutewochen oder ähnliche Veranstaltungen anbieten, die Inhalte

We will turn attention to the context of the handbook “On the way to the Sacrament of marriage…”, since it is almost a replica and expansion of the chapter on “Christlich gelebte Ehe und Familie” of the Synod document.

The handbook is a pastoral resource guide substantially formulated in non canonical language and devoid of any legal framework on marriage but written to help clergymen and those directly or indirectly, i.e. full-time and voluntary co-workers, to be familiar with the new trends and demands related to pre-marriage preparation as stipulated by church documents and canon 1063. Furthermore, the handbook is designed as a tool for those co-operators in the pastoral field to lead and help prospective couples to come to a better understanding of their faith or deepening their faith and how to live out the marriage life and to bring to them the Church’s understanding of marriage. Moreover, the understanding of marriage preparation should not be narrowed down to the sacramentality on marriage, but must also respond to those pertinent questions of young people about love, sexuality, partnership, marriage and family especially in the school, parish or community catechetic and youth work ⁶⁹³.

The handbook contains six chapters. Before briefly examining the marriage preparation itself, which is chapter four of the document, we will in few sentences review the contents of the remaining five chapters. The individual chapters analyse the present situation of pastoral care of marriage, today’s situation of young partners, exploiting the Catholic marriage understanding of experiences of the marriage couples, identifying goals and ways of Church marriage preparation and the fruitful organisations of the liturgical celebration of the marriage. At the end of the document the bishops remind those responsible for the preparation that the care and support of the Church for the couple do not end with the celebration of the marriage but aid and support must be offered and available to married couples in different situations and stations of their life and also in time of crisis.

Chapter 1 describes the point of departure in pastoral care for marriage preparation for both the prospective couple and the Seelsorger (pastoral minister). In the view of the bishops, the initial reaction of the Seelsorger should be the expression of joy for courage and step taking by the couple. This is important because the fact that the couple decides to ask for Church

und Form genügend Anreiz geben, vom dem Angebot Gebrauch zu machen. Es ist sehr zu begrüßen, wenn befreundete und verlobte Paare möglichst früh an einem Brautleutekurs teilnehmen, um aufgeworfene Fragen in Ruhe bedenken un sich gegenseitig prüfen zu können“. More over no. 3.1.2.2. insisted that “die Gemeinden sollten die unmittelbare Ehevorbereitung stärker als bisher mittragen; etwa durch Gesprächskreise für Verlobte und befreundete Paare, an denen auch Verheiratete teilnehmen. Auch Familiengruppen sollten Verlobte zu ihren Veranstaltungen einladen“. See also, P. Wesemann, „Zur Pastoral der Ehevorbereitung – Gedanken eines Eherichters“, in: Pastoralblatt für die Diözesen Aachen, Berlin, Essen, Köln, Osnabrück 33 (1981), 53ff.;

Ehrenfried Schulz, “Ursachen und Triebkräfte für die Neukonzeption einer Gestuften Ehevorbereitung”, in:

Ehrenfried Schulz (Hrsg.), Neue Wege in der Ehevorbereitung: Ein umfassendes Konzept der Pastoral zur Befähigung von jungen Menschen für ein Ehe- und Familienleben aus dem Glauben, Seelsorge Verlag Echter, Würzburg, 1983, 24ff.

693 Deutsche Bischofskonferenz, Auf dem Weg, p.9.

marriage means, in principle they are conscious and accepting the fact that the celebration of civil and other profane feasting on the day of their marriage do not attain the height and standard of Christian marriage. For that matter it is essential for pastors to strive to help the couple to achieve their feat irrespective of dead faith or active faith. The basic option here for the pastor is to discover and strengthen faith, and not the examination and judging of the faith of the couple should be his priority. This will therefore be in line with the declaration of Familiaris Consortio that rejects a rigoristic position as regards pastoral care for marriage preparation⁶⁹⁴.

Chapter 2 wishes to contribute to the situation of young couples. It acknowledges the apparent unfavourable conditions characterising various institutions including Religion and marriage in the society. It mentions some of these unfavourable conditions as excessive individualism and the false interpretation given to marriage or falsifying the fundamental understanding of marriage. This is a culture in which young partners find themselves. The chapter therefore wishes that pastoral care especially to young prospective couples should help them rediscover the fundamental understanding and values of marriage⁶⁹⁵.

Chapter 3 emphasises that pastoral care for marriage preparation should provide prospective couples an opportunity for a sound theological understanding of sacramental marriage and its celebration. It also insisted on the important task of organising seminars and courses to prospective couples. These courses should be able to provide a certain amount of room for discernment in which the yearnings and fears characterising marriage relationships are illuminated with sound religious and theological convictions of life and marriage. This must enable them to see and have decisive knowledge of marriage as an intimate covenant relationship which God has with human beings. For this reason the document insists that it is not enough for those preparing couples for celebrating sacramental marriage just to give the summary of the church’s official teachings on marriage, but must provide an opportunity to share with prospective couples the true vision and heritage of Catholic teaching on marriage⁶⁹⁶.

Chapter 5 expounds on the liturgical celebration of marriage. It requires a careful organisation with the couples such that the celebration is not perceived as a matter for the civil society, but as marriage before God and Christian community. It must also be fruitfully celebrated (cf.

c.1063, 3^o) such that the link between the marriage and paschal mystery is drawn out. The organisation of the celebration of the marriage must also take into consideration the inter-faith situation of the couple⁶⁹⁷

694Deutsche Bischofskonferenz, Auf dem Weg, pp.10-13; Familiaris Consortio no. 68.

.

695 Deutsche Bischofskonferenz, Auf dem Weg, p.14ff.

696Deutsche Bischofskonferenz, Auf dem Weg, pp.24-31.

697Deutsche Bischofskonferenz, Auf dem Weg, pp.49-52.

Chapter 6 turns attention to the continuous pastoral care after the celebration of the marriage.

The document maintains that it is an obligation of those responsible for the pre-marriage preparation also to provide the post marital pastoral care. It insisted that the pastoral care and support of the church for couples should not end with the celebration of the marriage, but aid and support must be offered and available to married couples in different situations and stations of their life and in times of crises⁶⁹⁸

According to the document, pastoral programmes for marriage preparation takes place at different times, at different places and are carried out by different persons. Since there are divergent pastoral situations in relation to marriage in the country, programmes must be drawn on individual bases. Consequently, the conference admits that the document is not intended to be an exhaustive uniform pastoral programme for the entire dioceses but to be an appraisal for drawing unique pre-marriage preparation programmes relevant to the needs of each ethnic group, for the west and East. The concrete implementation of programmes remains the task of each diocese and the respective parishes, however it encourages all to grant especial place to it

. Having briefly reviewed the contents of the document as far as time and space allow, we will now turn our attention to chapter 4 of the booklet, which interests us most.

699.

In a certain way the chapter follows the outlines on pastoral care for marriage preparation found in John Paul’s apostolic exhortation, Familiaris consortio and the Pontifical Council for the Family’s 1996 document on marriage preparation.

The initial comments outline the goals of the Church’s pastoral care for marriage preparation.

It insists that if the marriage of Christians is perceived as a sacrament of the living God, then there should be a great and responsible concern for its success⁷⁰⁰. The fundamental goal of the marriage preparation should be an opportunity for the prospective couples to see the link between faith and the realities of every day’s journey in marriage and family life⁷⁰¹. It also insisted that for couples to sustain themselves under the unfavourable conditions of the complex modern and technical-industrial culture, it is not just sufficient to love each other.

The couple can only withstand the unfavourable conditions if they have the technical know-how about know-how to grow in a relationship⁷⁰².

Furthermore, the bedrock of a successful marriage is the readiness and abilities of adjustment of oneself to correspond with modern marriage as personal partnership, thus being open to one’s own feelings and those of his or her partner, noticing and renouncing of personal

698 Deutsche Bischofskonferenz, Auf dem Weg, pp.52-54.

699 Deutsche Bischofskonferenz, Auf dem Weg, p.8.

700 Deutsche Bischofskonferenz, Auf dem Weg, p.36.

701 Deutsche Bischofskonferenz, Auf dem Weg, p.36.

702 Deutsche Bischofskonferenz, Auf dem Weg, pp. 37-38.

doubts, readiness for devotion, renouncement and assumption of responsibility, openness for tenderness and erotic desire, readiness for co-operation and reconciliation, not the least openness for new life and hope for future with its still hidden Possibilities⁷⁰³. The methods of marriage preparation mentioned in the document avoid - what it deems the work of various dioceses - to go into any details of structures and organisation of marriage preparation programmes.

Remote preparation: The handbook acknowledges that remote preparing for marriage begins in the family. It is in the family that the child acquires various experiences crucial and fundamental to his future social relationship and faith. For that matter according to the bishops the child must be told and experience that he is accepted and loved irrespective of his achievement and capability. He must experience that he can rely on his parents and others; he must be told and be taught that effort and achievement are necessary in order to organise one’s own life, and to be able to reach goals and develop values. He must learn in increasing measure to fathom liberty, independence and responsibility. Nonetheless, the bishops maintain that marriage preparation in the family is essentially implicit, because the experiences and learning processes are not particularly geared towards the life of marriage and family⁷⁰⁴. However, they were quick to add that it is to be underscored that sometimes the capacity for partnership and relationship for the future are already strongly portrayed for instance, in the development of the sexual identity and in the sex education in the family. This happens where parents and children freely discuss with one another questions of love, longing and primary partnership experiences⁷⁰⁵.

The document did not mention categorically proximate preparation of marriage as found traditionally in the Familiar Consortio but touches on the situation and education of juveniles and young adults. It insisted that those responsible for marriage related issues are to draw on the healthy relation developed by Juvenile and young adults in their experiences in friendship and love, values and attitudes which at least agree with the values of Christian marriage to give them the appropriate sex education. These experiences of the young people are to be serving as a starting point for sexual pedagogical work and for preparing for marriage in the future⁷⁰⁶

703 Deutsche Bischofskonferenz, Auf dem Weg, p.38.

. Consequently, the handbook insisted that teachers and educators couldn’t escape topics on sex, marriage and family life in the schools. Teachers must get involved to give

704 Deutsche Bischofskonferenz, Auf dem Weg, p.41.

705 Deutsche Bischofskonferenz, Auf dem Weg, pp.41-42.

706 Deutsche Bischofskonferenz, Auf dem Weg, p.42. See also Brief der Jugendkommission der Deutschen Bischofskonferenz an die Verantwortlichen in der kirchlichen Jugendarbeit zu eineigen Fragen der Sexualität und der Sexualpädagogik. Hrsg. Vom Sekretariat der Deutschen Bischofskonferenz, Bonn 1999 (Arbeitshilfen 148), n.1.2; n. 2.1.

appropriate sex education and be ready to contribute to discussion concerning how these potential adults are to live their sexuality⁷⁰⁷.

Addressing the immediate preparation or what they called preparation for wedding without going into any formal programme, the handbook explained that in many dioceses it is expected from partners who ask for Church wedding to participate in a marriage preparatory course. While the courses are necessary to foster in the partners the sense of living the marriage as permanent community of life and love (cf. c.1055), it is by no means permitted to make those seminars and courses obligatory. It also observed that compulsory participation in the course could awaken resistances and cause difficulties especially for those in the initial phase. In the footnote to the above assumption the document made it clear and insisted that it is not permissible to make the participation in marriage preparation as the condition to marry in the Church⁷⁰⁸.

However, the document observes that as a rule immediate preparation for marriage should take place in recognised institutions because in such establishment qualified persons can be found to carry out discussion on the issue at hand. In spite of that the document insisted that though marriage preparation seminars in such recognised institutions may be more satisfactory and desirable, partners must remain in contact with their own parishes which must also not deny them the chance of offering them catechesis or courses on the values of marriage. This is very important because the partners at long last may return to the parish for the celebration of the marriage. In addition, a conscious parish catechesis in which young couples have the chance to discuss questions on their expectations and experiences about Christian life can go a long way to contribute to the welfare of the society⁷⁰⁹. The last part of the chapter stipulates that before the marriage is celebrated Traugespräch (wedding dialogue), which will be examined in some detail in the next section, should take place between the prospective couples and the priest or pastoral minister.

It is significant to note that with the publication of the handbook on pastoral care for marriage preparation the German bishops’ conference has not pretended to develop a national directory for marriage preparation. What we can say is that the handbook is more inspirational than being a strictly juridically binding document. The bishops conceded that the handbook has pastoral, no dogmatic or judicial character but a pastoral one. Therefore it does not deem it opportune to bring out all necessary differentiations contained in canon law⁷¹⁰

707 Deutsche Bischofskonferenz, Auf dem Weg, p.42.

. Rather the

708 Deutsche Bischofskonferenz, Auf dem Weg, p.43.

709 Deutsche Bischofskonferenz, Auf dem Weg, p.44.

710Deutsche Bischofskonferenz, Auf dem Weg, p.9: „Die Handreichung hat pastoralen, nicht dogmatischen oder kirchenrechtlichen Charakter. Deshalb kann sie nicht alle notwendigen Differenzierungen des

Kirchenrechts darlegen: Sie geht beispielsweise in ihren Darlegungen vom Normalfall aus, dass die kirchliche Eheschließung im Rahmen eines katholischen Traugottesdienstes erfolgt, ohne zu übersehen, dass mit Dispens

document is intended to be the collective response of the bishops to their canonical obligation to help individual dioceses to draw up there own pastoral directories to suit them. However, a critical analysis of the document will show that the document does not offer a good point of departure from which individual dioceses and local parishes can begin to develop their own particular directories and programmes⁷¹¹. If the handbook is non-binding, then it can be ignored with impunity therefore ignoring the demands of canon 1063 on marriage preparation.

b. Particular law of the German bishops’ conference

As a response to canon 1067 many particular churches have decreed norms in order to ensure the freedom of prospective couples to marry and the requirements with regard to marriage preparation in these churches⁷¹². The obligation of providing for 1067 was no exception to the German bishops’ conference. Hence, the conference introduced a new pre-nuptial enquiry called marriage preparation protocol (Ehevorbereitungprotokolls) in 1990. The plenary assembly on 24 September 2002 decided on a new updated version of marriage preparation protocol (Ehevorbereitungprotokolls) with Annotations (Anmerkungstafel). On 22 February 2003 this new version was recognised by the Congregation for the bishops and came into force on 1 November 2005 for the reunificated German bishops’ conference⁷¹³.

von der Formpflicht auch eine standesamtliche Eheschließung oder die nichtkatholische kirchliche Trauung eine kirchlich gültige, sakramentale Ehe zwischen einem Katholiken und einem nicht-katholischen Christen

begründet. Ebenso geht die Handreichung davon aus, dass in einer kirchlichen Feier der Trauung zumeist eine sakramentale Ehe zwischen Getauften geschlossen wird, ohne zu übersehen, dass die Ehe mit einem

Nichtgetauften kein Sakrament ist“.

711 Cf. Gavin, Pastoral Care in Marriage Preparation, p.162.

712 National Conference of Catholic Bishops of America approved complementary legislation for canon 1067.

Complementary Norm: The National Conference of Catholic Bishops, in accord with the prescriptions of canon 1067 and with due regard for canon 1068, hereby decrees that the following norms shall be observed in preparation of a couple for marriage:

1) The couple should receive appropriate education and pastoral preparation through participation in a marriage preparation programme approved by the diocesan bishop;

2) Parties should be questioned as to their freedom to marry;

3) Baptised Catholics should present a recently issued annotated baptismal certificate;

4) Where necessary, additional documentation (such as affidavits of parents) attesting to a Catholic party’s freedom to marry should be presented;

5) Baptized non-Catholics should present satisfactory proof of baptism and freedom to marry;

6) Unbaptised persons should present satisfactory proof of freedom to marry;

6) Unbaptised persons should present satisfactory proof of freedom to marry;

Im Dokument New Approaches to Marriage Preparation in the 1983 Code of Canon law. (Seite 189-200)